"Aaaaarrrgghhh!!! I can't believe they put my castle on the Historic Registry! Now I'll NEVER get a permit for my bathroom remodel!"
Are you one of the millions of American homeowners out there struggling to get out from under a savage debt load, rapidly dwindling equity, or an adjustable-rate mortgage that suddenly adjusted itself right on top of your head? Or maybe you’ve been out there shopping for your Dream Home, only to get sidetracked by surprise roadblocks and pitfalls…pulling your hair out as you struggle to handle the stress of it all. Hang in there- you’re not alone. The real estate game can be tough on anybody, regardless of your income, location or super-human powers. The important thing is to try to stay calm and learn from the trials and tribulations of others. Why, just look at what these guys are dealing with!
"Well come on, then! Hurry it up! It's not like those stainless appliances are gonna move themselves! Oh wait... I TOTALLY forgot! Hah, I am SUCH a basket case today!"
"Psst! Tell 'em we'll throw in the flatscreen AND the spaceship if they'll agree to close early!"
"I know, I know. I should have gotten a place with a bigger garage. Honestly though, I never expected to get so many parking tickets. I mean, my jet's friggin' INVISIBLE! Come on!!!"
"Holy crisis of conscience, Batman! They want me to fill in my REAL name on this FHA loan application!"
"I dunno, Robin...It just seems tacky these days to live in a house with 47 bathrooms. I think it's time to downsize..."
" It's not the property taxes that are killing me, so much as the flood insurance!"
"Look, I GET the irony, OK? I'm STILL not going down into that crawl space! I don't EVEN wanna know what's crawling around down there!!"
"You know what Lois? I should have listened to my agent. Location, location, location! That's why this place isn't selling!"
Rob LeRoy is a Seattle real estate agent and social media marketing coach with eXp Realty.
So much potential here, floundered. I feel like you’ve channeled Dick Clark, Ed MacMahon, AND Bob Saget’s bits, then took out the funny parts. And Flash wasn’t a super hero, just a football player in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I mean after he signed with the Jets.
Wow…I’m stunned. You’ve reeeeally put me in my place. I bow before you in defeat…bested…vanquished by a superior foe from…wait, let me check my notes here…Rhode Island?! Seriously?! Rhode Island?! Hey, how about this. Why don’t you go ahead and sit the next couple of plays out and let somebody from a REAL state have a turn! I think I hear your Mom yelling that it’s time for your nap…run along, now…you’ll be fine…
This is hilarious! Rob, your writing team has really come a long way! Seriously, it was a good move to fire the former head writer of Everybody Lover Raymond!
Mr. Burt,
Your attacks are somewhat less scathing when riddled with typos. Were you referring to that vomitous TV show…or the critically acclaimed adult film, “Everybody’s Lover, Raymond”?
Your reply is much like the slappings of a shorter, uglier man (some call them children) when you hold them at arms-length; missing the mark, and serving as a source of annoyance. My REAL origin is “parts unknown”, but since you don’t take any answer you can’t Google, and pronounce the “k” in “unknown” I thought I’d throw in where I went to school. My only hope is that no one has printed your blog and lined their hamster cage with it, for fear the hamster could learn to read, breeze over your dribblings, and smight his own life force by throwing himself under his own wire wheel. How I envy his alternative. How I regret Rob’s excitement as he reads the word “hamster”, only to later on figure out the context. Your ban from Petco lives on. Get help.
My high school had a blind kid on the football team. I remember the coach telling him once, “Kid, it’s not about how you play the game or whether you win or lose…it’s enough just to find your way onto the field…” Mr. McNamara, I congratulate you. You have, most assuredly, found the field today. Be proud of yourself for that, if for nothing else…
A lot of sexual tension between you and some of the commenters. You all really need to confront this. Well done, Robert. Fave: AquaMan